Featured

Mental health series part2 – Body shaming

body-shaming-word-cloud-concept-450w-501372049.jpg

 

Hey 👋 guys, well this is a continuation to the mental health series I started last year , this is for anyone and everyone who is tired 😪 of constantly been body shamed, constantly been looked down on cause of your body type.  We all have been at that point in our lives where things people say 🙊 actually affect us, i know we all say “oh i don’t give a damn what 😦 people say” but lowkey we know its hurting us deep inside, its eating us up within, we lowkey look into the mirror judging all our flaws some of us are scared 😱 of looking 👀 at the mirror cause we are disgusted by our reflection 😢😢😢..  Some of us are on social media after all who isn’t right 😇, i know for one when i go online am bombarded with with pictures of ladies who look so perfect 👌 makeup 💄 on fleek, eyebrows on fleek, lipstick 💄 on fleek, d figure eight shape nd all, and then i just look at myself and i feel like when they’re girls like that which guy would want someone as skinny as i am..  I am forever insecure about my relationship cause i feel there are so many ladies out there that aren’t as skinny as i am. I feel insecure to meet new people especially guys because i feel the first thing everyone seems to notice is 

Omg 😱 😱 see how skinny she’s, she looks so malnourished, she can break 💔 at any moment now, does she even eat at all, is she in a diet, look how flat that ass is, look how thin does legs are(are those are legs cause i thought they were sticks?).

500_F_141864754_fpJC9CKsfZlzahiG6eRcpMaJjQedzQOU.jpg

The hurtful part is when you see those judgmental eyes 👀 running up and down your body as they try taking 🙇 in your appearance and all you can do is to just stand there and watch them with a smile 😊 on your face so they don’t think your weak.  Constantly having to change ☹ your clothes 👗 cause you feel you look more lyk a “broomstick” in them or when you wear them and someone walks 🚶 up to you and tells you “this dress doesn’t fit your body” they feel its a joke 😜 but knowing deep down your self confidence is lowering at each words..  I remember my very close friend once told me to my face.

…… you are very ugly, i feel ashamed walking 🏃 with you, you are so skinny and boring.  Have you looked at your face before.

500_F_175615380_2nzpfuXFBuLwYoKkjcuomaSgbOXLp3vi.jpg

These words are forever carved into my mind i can never forget them she thought it was all a joke 😜 but it wasn’t at all funny to me.

I know we all have our experiences you might be fat or skinny , you could be a lady 👒, a teenager 👧, a woman, a man, a boy 👦 anything and whatever and whoever you might be all i care about is us coming together to bring out the beauty in each other, to be there for each other, to love each other for who we really are and not who others feel we should be   Life is too short for negative energy and vibe.

Now in case we all feel this relates only to the ladies,then you’re damn wrong .The men aren’t exempted , we might not notice it but there’s a glorified body shape women feel men should have or rather the society feel men should have. But we’ve woven a web where the men feel like they cannot or should not talk about this,which is wrong.

images (56).jpeg

No one has a right to feel lesser than they are. And if whenever you feel like you need to change either due to health reasons or for your own sake,then by all means go for a change. Start the exercise, start that diet, start eating more,cut off the alcohol etc. But make sure that whenever you feel like changing your body type,that it’s for the right reasons and not because of the societal pressure because the pressure can only fuel your drive to a certain limit. But when you’re indeed commuted to change for tour own happiness and benefit,your determination I’ll be the fuel to your fire.

images (57).jpeg

Hope you guys enjoyed part2 of this series. This post was culled from my original post on my previous blog http://www.slimbitch.wordpress.com – for the purpose of this blog and since I clearly have stopped using my previous blog I’ll be reposting all my previous posts to this blog.❤

#bodyshaming #mental health #mentalhealthseries

Advertisements
Featured

PRAY

download (12).jpeg

Lyrics from a song keeps ringing in my head it basically describes the struggles of christian life- the song “I’ll keep running to you” (sorry don’t know the name of the artist) is basically one of my favourite songs when I begin to feel like am losing the race of faith, that am undeserving of been in the presence of God because of my filthiness, that I am a sinner undeserving of forgiveness, that I keep praying yet I keep making the same mistakes I try to keep away from cause I knw they will hurt this new race I’ve began with God. But one thing I know is that the race as a Christian might be rough,it might be hard work, there might be few pitfalls from our side as humans,we might neglect the warnings of the Holy Spirit and still spew whatever filth we’ve in our thought,words or actions, we might engage in that gossip,we might allow our minds deviate to ungodly thoughts as babes in the kingdom of God but then it’s this time we’ve to begin to pray for that leading and conviction of the Holy Spirit.

I personally feel that sometimes I take God’s grace through His son Jesus as an excuse for unchristianly character because I feel I can still go back and ask God for forgiveness and he’ll forgive. But this shouldn’t be.

I feel a burden in my heart, I cry tears when I remember the insults and shame Jesus Christ went through just to cover my shame, a man who committed no sin was murdered like a sinner for a sinner like me and yet I take that grace for granted. Imagine!! is there a greater sacrilege like this?
download (13).jpeg

I am undeserving of this love u show unto me lord but no matter what,I believe in your sufficient grace to lead me through the beginning and ending of this christian race,it might seem difficult because I haven’t totally consecrated myself to you,I still fall into my old ways but lord I promise you one thing that more than any worldly enjoyment that seeing the smile on your face when at that pearly gates you say “welcome my faithful servant” for that smile on your face it’s all worth it. Cutting off that habit,that character, that person and that TV show is worth it because I know you’re pulling me through it all and you’ll lead me on. Please keep me and others who genuinely want to watch and pray since we know not when you shall come. We’ll work hard to follow you and you alone lord because been a Christian isn’t a right but a privilege through the blood shed on Calvary.

images (53).jpeg

Be magnified. Shalom.

#christianviews #wordforbabesinchrist #jesusisus #prayerlife #spiritual

https://api.linkmonster.co.uk/api/LinkMonsterAffiliate.js
LinkMonsterAffiliate(1259, 4);

Featured

Mental health series alert

For the next few days leading up to the new year I’ll be doing a series on mental health and would like to ask any other blogger who feels strongly about this issue and would like to be a guest blogger to reach out. Mental health awareness is needed, it isn’t a sign of weakness.

Watch out for mental health the series1

#mentalhealth #depression #anxiety

<a href=”//www.chitika.com/publishers/apply?refid=abbey101″><img src=”//images.chitika.net/ref_banners/160x600_tired_of_adsense.png” /></a>

 

Featured

Rape but not raped- how did rape become glorified 🙄

Hey everyone,

Now this is one controversial topic for sure, and this post is no way undermining the terrible effects of rape but rather to broaden the horizon ,and to bring light to the fact that a lot of people have been framed and their whole life destroyed by such accusations. We live in a society that somehow tends to to always believe the story of the female irrespective of the situation, and some girls tends to misuse the society’s trust and conjure up lies destined to thwart an innocent man’s life.

Rape, as defined by https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape , is ” a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual assault or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent. The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.

images (27)

For this post I’ll be taking life stories from people who have gone through this, one story that has really touched me is that of Brian Banks– at the time of this incident which am sure has left a dent in his life forever, Banks was a standout high school football player, he was also listed among the “juniors to watch out for” by rivals.com before he had to be expelled over an accusation made by a girl named Wanetta Gibson that he had raped her. Banks was arrested and without the carrying out of any investigation by the law enforcement was charged for rape. Now a rape charge carries a 41years sentence or life sentence,hence he was advised by his then lawyer to take a plea deal of 5yrs imprisonment, 5yrs probation and registration as a sex offender which would have potentially ruined his hope of ever playing football again. He served five years in jail and after getting out on patrol in 2011, he received a message from Wanetta on Facebook asking to see him where she confessed that she falsely accused him after collecting a whooping sun of $1.5million from the school after suing it for “been an unsafe environment”.

 

Thankfully for Brian an organization dealing with such cases, the ” California innocence project” ,took up his case and got additional evidence to prove his innocence and have him acquitted. With the school winning a $2.6million settlement. Brian has now gotten his footballing dreams back on track, so in a way one might be tempted to say it turned out well in the end- but that’s wrong.

images (29).jpeg

Basically what I am trying to bring out from this real- life kinda horror story is that,our society has been conditioned intact it has been drilled into our minds that women are always the victims,we’re always the ones been picked upon, we’re always the one been looked down on, molested, disenfranchised, manipulated and trampled upon because we are regarded as the “weaker vessels”. Now I am not about to frown on the fact that bitter acts such as rape are been committed against women but rather I also want to bring out the fact ,that not everyone that ” cries wolf has actually seen a wolf”. We as a society have collectively failed those men who have had their names and reputation dragged through he mud all because a woman has decided to ride on how seriously the society frowns on such acts to exact revenge or just to gain the spotlight.

500_f_114610633_4l18hnavxltkaq647rwmka47wzlcecyy

As such cases of fraudulent rape accusations keep coming to light it begins to bring into question if and whether all rape accusations should and can be believed. It begins to bring into questioning the seriousness of such accusations and begins to belittle the truthful tale  of woes told by women who have gone through this and are trying to finally get closure by coming forward with the truth.  It !might be all fun and games to just call up the police and say so and so tried to molest you maybe because the breakup was bad or you feel like you’ve been done wrong to ,but for once just try and think of the many women going through such experiences on a daily who won’t be given a listening ear because piece of shits like you have manipulated the process and sympathy to suit yourself. You’ve made it easier for guys who are actually guilty of such to ride on stories of false rape accusations and gain their freedom by crying and hinging their stories based on other innocent men. You basically are ruining a man’s present and future for your own gain. No matter the wrong a man does to you, falsely accusing him of rape is now at to get self justification. It’s no way to get fulfillment or vengeance and trust me even God would spit at you for such. Imagine that been done to your son or your father ,imagine the hurt these men go through when even their own families at rimes fail to believe them. No race deserves to have the term “rapists” placed on their men. Sorry guys but I have to deviate a bit here and bring the matter close to home ,check this out more than half of the men who’ve been false accused are black men, now am not trying to saying we don’t have black guys that do wrong but having this pinned without any investigation whatsoever but just because a white woman or even a black woman as well accuses a black man of rape one immediately rushes into conclusion that he must have done it – is quite derogatory and sincerely stupid on the part of any society. Judgements of any kind shouldn’t be based on race,ethnicity or wealth but rather on facts, evidence  and testimonies as well as a thorough investigation.

 

Now to pur security agencies and people in position of power , when claims of such acts are made the right thing isn’t to jump on the bandwagon of “he must die” but rather to dutifully do your job by investigating such cases to the barest minimum. Don’t feel or assume that the female side is the right side, it’s better to double check your facts than to later be confronted with the fact that a person’s life was ruined because you couldn’t do your investigation properly.

Please and please ,it’s time we begin to realize that women could be wrong too and that men could be abused ,assaulted and lied against just as well. Sexual assault or any form of assault for that matter shouldn’t just be limited to a single gender or a single group of people. We should be fair to both genders and to both sexes. We really don’t know whose life can be saved ❤.

800px-brian_banks_2

Valentine blues❤🌤- been single and living your best February 14th life yet

This was a guest post for https://bloggdin.com.ng/2019/02/14/valentine-blues❤🌤-been-single-and-living-your-best-february-14th-life-yet/?v=bf7410a9ee72, feel free to check the blog out. You would love it.

download.jpeg

February 14th is here again, finally after all the hype the day of love, gifts, partying and perfect dates is here again. A day where people in relationships or partners show and give undivided attention to their partners. Now that’s all good and cute, but today this post is for my single ladies and gentlemen, so if you’re going to be enjoying your day with your significant other this post might be biased to you, but it’s all love.

Now as a bonafide member of the SINGLES ASSOCIATION❤, there is usually a high tendency of  feeling lonely or that you’re  missing out on something magical based on the public display of affection you will be seeing all over the internet and even around your environment, this also applies to those in relationships. You see having a partner doesn’t guarantee that you won’t feel lonely at times or feel like you aren’t getting enough attention. That’s why I’m here for you, sit down grab some popcorn and a soda and just relax as I take you through some steps on how to live your best life yet on Valentine’s day without feeling left out and how to make the most of Valentine’s day while you’re at it.

download (1)

Now the society has made been in the relationship as a standard for adulthood or maturity especially for women. It is like a goal to tick off your to-do list as some sort of accomplishment but I tend to disagree with such model. Now been in a relationship just because the society or the people around you are in one and you just don’t want to feel left out is plain wrong. But if you’re in a relationship for all the right reasons then by all means enjoy it.

Ways to enjoy Valentine’s day even when single;

  1. Me – time:  Now this is quite self explanatory, we spend most of our time worrying about different things in our ever busy roller coaster lives.

download (2).jpeg         Now this is a day set aside by the universe for you to enjoy been you, for you to do a bit of self evaluation of things going on in your life. We spend so much time on chasing things we want to achieve and give zero time into appreciating the efforts we have made and how far we’ve gone from where we were before.

We don’t appreciate the little steps we’ve made, well I present to you a “Valentine special me-time” package free of charge. You can also use this day to go visit that restaurant , that amusement park from your childhood, that new ice cream parlour by the street you have always craved for. Feel free let go of whatever burden you have been carrying ,let go and have fun.

You deserve it pamper yourself , go for a new hair cut, go shopping, try out that amazing dress or that new suit, go swimming, go for that beauty treatment, visit that masseuse, try making that meal, try baking that cake do whatever the hell you want to do.

And if by chance you happen to have a job to be at on Valentine’s day ,then still make the most out of it. Order that take out with that champagne, get your party shoes and dress ready the night time is yours😂😂. Don’t stress it and for God’s sake don’t over spend, we don’t want to be paying off debts days after Feb14th.

download (4).jpeg

2) Spend time with your girl friends and homies – now we all have people who have been in our lives for such a long time and impact on us positively but how many times have we actually celebrated such positivity, we all are used to talking about talking off the bad ones but never seem to notice the good ones always there to support us and comfort us. Well presenting to you the “Valentine day friendship appreciation special” package.

  Spend time with those friends of your have a little day or night out with your girls or go watch a match with the guys. If by chance some of them happen to be in relationships so have plans for val day that shouldn’t dampen the spirit, you can always have the outing after Valentine’s day.

download (3).jpeg

The main aim is for you and your friends to have a good time, share stories and just have fun. It’s a celebration of friendships and a celebration of your future together. It is simply a time to motivate, support and just chill with those who have made life a little better for you by their presence alone. So come on pause for a minute and go plan that outing we talked about. Enjoy yourselves, show them how much they mean to you,no matter how busy we’re, this is one day we should have time for them.

 images (1)

3) Gift yourself-  ikr who does this. Well we’re going to do it and enjoy it. You remember that favourite chocolate of your choice that you would have loved that man in your life to gift you or that flower you would have loved to receive or those perfumes you have been dying to have or that movie you have been meaning to watch, well go out of that damn house and go get it for yourself.

Go on don’t wait, stop holding in things you would love to have because you would prefer having it gifted to you, well the gift given by oneself trust me is more precious and would make you feel way better. The greatest love that can ever be shown is the love you how yourself. Remind yourself of how precious you’re and use this gifts to appreciate yourself for getting through the year so far and wish yourself better things as you move forward. Can I recommend you rewatch aquaman😇 seriously I love that movie😂

images (2).jpeg

4) Self comparison and regret –  at some point during the day ,you might fall into a bout of self comparison as you look through your Instagram or your WhatsApp status. You might come across that girl or that boy been showered with so much love and gifts and you might begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you. You might begin to wonder if you aren’t beautiful or handsome enough, you might begin to think of that relationship you just ended and you begin to wonder what you did wrong or what you could have done better. Self loathing and questions begin to swirl in your mind, once it begins look into the mirror and remember this : you’re beautiful/ handsome and loved, the fact you aren’t in a relationship doesn’t take anything away from how special you’re. You don’t need a relationship to be validated, the right woman or man will find you and when that time come it will only be an addition to an already perfect you. Any relationship lost wasn’t meant to be and you refuse to blame or be blamed for something that doesn’t exist anymore ,rather you choose to rise above it all and be a better person for yourself and for whoever will be lucky enough to have you next. 

Be sure of one thing whoever you are reading this, I do love you and appreciate you .❤

A guide to finding your true love during this month of love❤

Hey guys, we’re at that time of the month again, the month fills with everything love and lovely. It’s finally February, and I’m sure many of us are counting down the date to Valentine’s day. Most people can’t wit to be showered with love by their special someone, others can’t wait to go on exciting adventures with their loved one while a few of us (yea including me😂) will probably be home alone ,watching movies and looking through our phone wondering what the hell the hype for valentine is all about!

christiana-rivers-258740-unsplash.jpg

During the past year I realized something I would love to share with any and everyone who comes across this; now Valentine’s day has been known as the day to show overwhelming love to whoever  is your special someone,but I m of the opinion that this day has been over exaggerated and has lost its meaning to our generation. It has become a time for gifts,sex and social network show of love. Now that might not be a bad thing but then I believe , we shouldn’t limit ourselves to one day of the year to make anybody in our life feel special. We shouldn’t limit our show of love and affection to just 24hours in a day and then boom we’re back to our normal ever busy lives.

Have y’all noticed that this is the time most people get depressed, hurt and broken? We’ve those who get depressed over their not having a significant other to shower them with the kind of love and affection they we around, and we’ve those who get angry because their significant other didn’t show them the amount of love and affection or take them to the places they felt they should have been taken to on that special day,while others get their  heart broken at this time of the month or have to look back at a reminder of a painful experience they had at this time.

Valentine wasn’t meant to be a time for just spouse ,couples or partners to show love to each other but also a time for us to it down and give the our individual selves some love, a time for us to look at what we’ve achieved so far in terms of our new year resolutions, career goals, mental health and just life in general. Love shouldn’t be defined by having a significant other. The greatest love you can ever show is the one you give yourself. And for those in a relationship or marriage, don’t wait till February 14th to take him/her on that trip, don’t wait to give her that special gift, don’t wait to compliment him/her or tell your partner what they mean to you. Common stop crying and brooding over the love you lost last year or this year, rather think of the love you’re presently receiving from those around you and those you’re yet to receive. Stop waiting for a man or a woman to make feb14th a good day, go out take yourself on a date have fun,have a good time and hype yourself up. Take your girlfriends out for a movie or take  your guys to watch a match. Stop needing a relationship to validate yourself, be you and be happy with that. Your lover or partner is an addition to an already perfect you.

drop-the-label-movement-668299-unsplash.jpg

Nope – don’t wait for any ceremonious day to show your love, show your partner ll the care, love and devotion every single moment you spend together. Shower them with gifts and sweet messages at anytime and every time. Your partner shouldn’t be able to differentiate between the love you show on a normal at and that of valentine maybe except for the extra gifts and pecks on the cheeks. Don’t limit your affection to 24hours in a day. It is too small when you have weeks, days and months of affection to give. After 24hours is up, wnt then happens? Life goes on , the fights continues? The break in communication continues? The distance grows wider?

Love yourself, love others and love always . Everyday is a good day to show love.❤

This was written as a guest post. Thanks for the amazing opportunity

Is your mental health a reason to be toxic🤔

Hey everyone, now mental health is a really serious issue most people contend with. You might not even notice it for all it’s worth, you can be depressed for years and not even realize it. You might be suffering from anxiety and panic attacks but can’t even put a name to your situation. You can have BPD and still not know that’s the clinical term or even realize that it’s a sickness. Mental health in our present day society has usually just been brushed under the carpet as one been too emotional, or a cry baby or just not man or woman enough to face life.

But recently we’ve seen a turn around, people are slowly coming to terms that no one should refer have to go through suck periods of their life alone, they are now meant to understand that they aren’t alone ,there are millions of people going through same all around the world. BUT……. I’ve seen people and even I’m guilty of using this as a reason to be toxic and then blame it on your mental health consciously or subconsciously.

One crazy fact about this is that when struggling with your mental health you feel like people are judging you, you feel like people around you just have you around for pity and this slowly begins to irk you and slowly the anger begins to develop. You slowly begin to feel like everyone who’s around you is just there out of pity or just to get some new information to use against  you on a later day. You slowly begin to lose trust in those around you,you slowly begin to withdraw from relationships you’ve had or are having, you slowly begin to shut yourself down and build a wall between yourself and those around. You begin leaving without any reason because you don’t even know why you’re been this way.  And finally when you have cut them off,the loneliness begins to set in. It begins to eat into the fabric of your being, you begin to regret not keeping those friendships and relationships but it’s too late now so you bear the consequence of your actions.

You live with the guilt that along with the bad you’ve thrown out the good and long lasting relationships that you would have had with those around you. You begin to become a shell of your former joyous self, your depression sky rockets, you feel even more unloved, your anxiety kicks in everywhere you turn to it feels like people are talking about you and whispering about your cold hearted display. You begin to sink even lower in the abyss  of self loathe. You seem unable to keep any more friendships and you begin to stay away.  You’ve no one to talk to or share your thoughts with except yourself. Your defence begins to crumble and your soul is pleading for relief.

500_F_181001979_jgW0JhKKYddZMKUJZ6BPotIJ2IVQxSdX500_F_181002011_54mWrtvDS5bpPtSvk1HlZ0MVwqO8I2cE

Relief from the toxic situation you got yourself into because of fear!

Relief from burden you’ve placed on it from your selfish decision

Relief, plain relief.!!!

Now, this is one character not many people notice about themselves but I want you to use this opportunity to do a self assessment of where you’re right now, your attitude and grade your attitude. And if you’re one then it’s not too late to work on yourself , it’s not too late to build new and long lasting relationships. The only permanent thing in life is change, and change you will and you can !!!!

This was a guest post I wrote for #Timetotalk for @thriveinchaos feel free to check out more of this stories from other amazing bloggers as we try to bring awareness to mental health ❤  https://thriveinchaos.me

Can I ever fall in love – with myself

500_F_164482750_lN0MDPYBfpQyCW45OByVjx2v661ZludN

 

We all scream #self-love, but can we truly say we love the man or woman staring back as us in the mirror. Can we sincerely say we have stopped the self loathing, self comparison and self derogatory thoughts??

500_F_78629197_b6JPbFW3Yltw3Dyb0Bw2BNhqDYlegZ88

Now while we try to get over the swooning caused by how fine the guy in the picture above is, I have discovered that we might want to put up a front of self love even tagging it as our caption on IG ,Facebook and twitter but the fact is it doesn’t come easy to live up to what you profess.

500_F_67002961_zvrbgkFSvVJL4sR4O7vZqLUsapUkgCnV.jpg

I for one have carved an image of not caring what people think of or about me ,an image of been myself whether anyone likes it or not. An image of not been affected by the actions of others, an image of not needing others. Does this sound familiar to you? Yea am sure it does!! But the fact remains that no matter how closed off we seem to be about other people’s actions the fact is that it affects us, it hurts us at times. We try to keep up the self love euphoria but it is waning out, the fire is quenching. We’re losing ourselves, we are hurting ourselves and we are killing ourselves so slowly yet without noticing it.

Self love is all about loving yourself and been true to yourself, it’s all about doing things that brings you joy irrespective of other’s opinions. It’s seeing yourself as the ultimate good, I feel we’re beginning to mask this concept as an avenue to not put an effort into developing one self, we use it as an excuse to live our worst lives yet, we use it as an excuse to ruin friendships and relationships. Now I am guilty of this as well, I am of the belief that loving ourselves shows in our ability to take decisions that develops and pushes us to be the best we can be both physically and in character whilst also developing our relationships and friendships. We can all not be perfect, it’s OK to be hurt ,angry, annoyed and scared but it’s also OK to pick yourself up and work on yourself and see that challenge as a stepping stone to greatness. It’s OK to not push yourself to hard,it’s OK to be tired of everything but it’s also OK to refuse to allow the world and things in it weigh you down but rather you can choose to walk with your head held up high because the world has no choice that to work in your favour.

500_F_223578194_DXfj8IHoOrCqHzpBXrbunVVoUbVr2aX6.jpg

Self love means been you , but when you know there are areas or parts of you in need of change don’t shy away from creating a change that will improve your physical, mental and spiritual well being. You might need to cut off that person, you might need to start that gym class, you might need to drop that habit, you might need to put more effort . Just do it, be the perfect person you have always wanted to be , be the mentor you’ve always wanted to have. Be the model you have always admired, be the book worm and professor you have always loved. There’s a difference between self loathing and self improvement. Improve and work on things in your life that you feel needs to be worked on but don’t go hating on yourself for things you cannot change. Love the things about you that can’t be changed,embrace it and work with it the best way possible.

Be who and what you love❤

500_F_131590435_7c83j7428A5xWUm97aYTjsF3bpVnZFjW.jpg

 

This is a guest post I wrote in contribution to the valentine love series for @jess ,feel free to check out more amazing love stories from the series https://loveinjune16.wordpress.com

A Lesson About Goals

A couple of years ago, I climbed a mountain. It was a summer holiday in the north of England, and for some reason, I thought it would be a good idea. I started by walking through fields, past cows and farmland, and I felt confident. This will be a breeze I thought. Unfortunately, I was cheated, as unlike other fells and hills I’d climbed, the incline was particularly flat, and somehow, I’d convinced myself that the whole journey would be this way.

An hour in to the walk, and with only a mile or so to go, I sat on some rocks, feeling incredibly sorry for myself. My feet were sore, my quads were aching, and my calves were raw. I had a choice. Do I walk one more mile to reach the top, or two and a half miles to get back to our hotel? Let me tell you, it was a genuinely a tough decision. What did I choose? With substantial hesitation, and a face like a moody toddler who’d just dropped her favourite dummy, I rose and sulked my way towards the top. I’m not a runner, and at the time I was fairly unfit, so I hated every second of it.

With only 200m to go, I was exhausted. My legs were jelly but as the incline was so steep, I was able to use my hands to scramble upwards.

And against all odds, I reached the top. A wave of relief swept over me and my goal was complete. I had climbed Ingleborough. I had done it in an hour and half. I had no injuries and had not got lost. In a moment of celebration that I had reached the top, it suddenly occurred to me – I’m at the top of a mountain – the goalpost had moved, and then I had to make the long journey all over again, and I was gutted.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing; I discovered something important about goals that day that I’ve kept in mind ever since. Achieving a goal in your day to day life is like climbing a mountain. It can be a total slog that leaves your body exhausted and your brain fried, but you can’t give up mid-way through. Then you reach the top, but you can’t stay there, for a new goal has begun – you have to keep moving, keep pressing, keep progressing. It’s disheartening to realise that it’s not over, and you still have 3 and a half miles to go, but if you don’t try achieve your next goal, how can you possibly achieve your dreams?

Now, it may sound pessimistic, but I don’t think about achieving one goal as being ‘successful’. There’s always something else that will move you on to your next step in your fitness or career; something else that will improve your mindfulness; something else that will make you even more of a success. So, keep striving towards that summit, and the next one, and the next, until you eventually do reach your dreams.

signature-fonts

Food from the giant of Africa 🌤

Hey guys, I’ll be bringing you the different food variety from my native country of Nigeria. Now Nigeria is also referred to as the giant of Africa, as it is the most populous nation in Africa with a population of about 203,452,505 people. Nigeria is a country blessed with a wide cultural diversity which makes it a great place to live in, with about 250 ethnic groups the diversity is  beautiful providing an avenue for a variety of foods ,traditions and culture. Nigeria has a rich cuisine and I’ll be detailing each of them in this blog post.

 

nigeria

Igbo Food

The Igbo people are usually found in the eastern part of the country and are mainly known for their love for legumes, cereals, vegetables, iyan pounded yams and cocoyam. Yams are most popular and can either be boiled or pounded with vegetable soups. Soups are an integral part of igbo cuisine. Some of the most popular Igbo foods are –

1. Pounded yam with bitterleaf soup is a favourite for most Easterners, when prepared properly the burst of flavours is sure to melt your heart. The ingredients for this amazing meal are bitter leaf, meat or fish, stockfish, maggi, crayfish, salt, seasoning cube, pepper, palm oil, and ogiri

 

images (35)images (36)

    2) Pounded yam with egusi soup is rich both in taste and quality, it’s prepared with meat or fish stockfish, egusi seeds, spinach, palm oil, crayfish, pepper, salt, seasoning cubes, and ogiri.

photo (1)images (38)Egusi Soup Nigeria

        1. 3) Nkwobi – is a cow foot delicacy with palm oil delicacy, it’s common in Nigeria and goes perfectly with a chilled wine or drink of your choice. The ingredients included here can be seen on https://allnigerianfoods.com/nigerian-nkwobi .Ingredients are; 1 kg Meat (chicken, wild meat, goat, cow foot, assorted meat), 2 cubes of knorr, 10 leaves of utazi, Edible potash (one teaspoon), Palm oil 200ml, Ugba – 1 cup, 10 Peppers (Scotch bonnet), Onions – 2 slice, 3 seeds of ehu (calabash nutmeg), Salt to taste.

images (39)nkwobiimages (41)

    4)  Abacha- is also known as African salad,  is prepared from cassava and is eaten across the south eastern part of Nigeria. It is prepared from cassava,palm oil, chopped onions, ugba, crayfish, utazi, and pepper and dried fish (optional). It’s very healthy.

images (44)

images (43)

1500542306_5054565138_1679344124_4046317591.jpeg

 

Yoruba food

Have an intriguing array of deliciously prepared foods, they are known for their colorful food mixed with several elements that will cause you to drool. Some of the native yoruba foods include;

1)  Gbegiri soup – is made from beans either brown beans and it’s quite easy to make. It’s made from beans ,dried fish, pepper , crayfish, seasoning cubes, salt and palm oil.

images (45)download (12)download (11)

2) Efo – riro- is a healthy Yoruba cuisine prepared from spinach vegetables, crayfish, stockfish, pepper, locust bean, meat, and palm oil.

images (46)images (48)images (47)

 

3) Amala and Ewedu soup – is a Yoruba staple food , the soup is made from ewedu leaves, iru, crayfish, pepper and salt.

download (13)images (50)images (49)

4) moin – moin- is made from beans as well. It’s a nutritious and easy to make meal. It’s made from grounded beans, pepper,salt ,egg(optional) and fish

images (53)images (51)

Hausa food

Are found at the northern region of the country. And are rich when it comes to food especially grains like millet. Some of the native foods are;

1) Tuwo Shinkafa – is a popular food made in the northern part of Nigeria from parboiled rice used to make a thick pudding and is served with different soups. It’s prepared from rice and water

images (54)images (55)

2) Masa- is also known as Hausa rice cake, made from tuwo rice that is fermented rice. Made from rice, yeast, sugar and flour. It can be taken with soup.

images (57)images (56)

5) Dambu Namna- is a shredded or fried meat delicacy similar to suya.  It can be eaten as a snack or used for rice. It’s made from beef, pepper, salt,sugar, groundnut oil and onions and seasoning cubes

dambunimages (60)

One of the most important dishes synonymous to Nigeria is our jollof rice, which is widely acclaimed as the best that could ever be. It is common to all ethnic groups and is quite common in all parts of Nigeria.

images (61)images (62)

Whenever you find yourself in Nigeria make sure you’ve a taste of at least one if not all of this dishes❤. You won’t regret it. Feel free to tell me what your favourite food was in the comment section

 

I’m pregnant and I didn’t plan it😩

  Hey everyone,now this is a really controversial issue right here. Because there are different sides to this stories,most people don’t choose to be teenage mothers as some people are raped or go through situations way beyond their control. While some just don’t expect to get pregnant but go into sexual acts willingly. Now am not judge Judy so I am not here to judge, but rather to tell you and encourage you to forgive yourself and push forward. We can’t reverse the past but we certainly can change the direction of our present and create the future of our dreams. ❤
Getting a positive pregnancy result for sure can seem like a death sentence and an outright shock for those who had zero plans for such an occurrence and yet for those who yearn for it ,it’s a priceless joyful news – can life get more ironic than this?
   This is my story
Please note this is a story I thought of and has no linking to any living or dead person, so it’s all love❤. Let’s use the name Amanda.
Now, Amanda is the only child of a preacher father and a business woman mother. She has a caring middle-class family. She’s the pride of her family and of course the love of her parent’s lives. Her academic life is everything to write home about – she’s an A- student ,a cheerleader and is sure to get into college on a scholarship.
Amanda has been dating her boyfriend Peter for about 6months, he’s every lady’s guy and really supportive. They’re both in love and inseparable and in fact they’re planning a future together including going to college together. One night after a lovely date night ,things get crazy, the kisses get deeper,their hormones start racing and a split decision later they decide to have some “sexual fun”. Amanda loses her virginity that night and yes at that point she loved it after all it was with the love of her life- it all seemed right at that moment.
They (Amanda and Peter) are both woken up by calls from her father ,she is still half asleep and everything looks hazy. She picks her phone and sees 15missed calls from her parents and from her best friend. She looks around and sees Peter staring back at her. At that point it dawns on her and probably Peter as well what had happened the night before. Her phone rings again ,her mum was calling she picks it up and quickly thinks up a lie that she was at her friend’s house and had fallen asleep. Her mum seems unconvinced but asks her to return home safe as soon as possible. Her and Peter stare at each other for a bit but no words seems to come out, they clearly both had something to say but it just wasn’t coming out. The guilt building up inside her was too much for her to bear as she picked up her clothes and left without a word.
She gets home to the warm embrace of her parents who were worries sick about her. She quickly explained to them, that she had made a new friend at youth Bible study and decided to see the friend quickly before coming home but she had slept off after a movie. She apologized and her parents didn’t feel the need to worry or double check her words cause after all she had always been there innocent little girl.
She takes a shower after promising her parents to always call them up when she planned to visit people they didn’t know. When she entered the bathroom ,she slid down in tears as she remembered her parents words “we trust you” – she washes and washes trying to wash off the sexual sin she had just engaged in, she felt dirty and filthy💔. Finally after almost an hour of scrubbing and scrubbing, she hears a knock on the bathroom door- her parents are waiting on her to come eat breakfast ,but she tells them she isn’t hungry as she has eaten at her friend’s house. As she heard her room door close as her mother left her stomach grumbled in hunger. But at that pint food was the least of her problems. She finally finished from the bathroom and as she laid on her bed,she received a call and guess who – Peter.
  Amanda could not bring herself to pick the call,as guilty as she felt she still somehow blamed Peter. After all how else can you !make yourself if not by blaming the other person involved. After multiple calls she finally picked it up, Peter was all over the phone with apologies ,as she listened to all his apologies she knew deep within her heart that it was as much his fault as it was hers. She just couldn’t bring herself to blame herself. With that in mind her next reply was one she knew would break Peter ” Peter am sorry but I don’t think this relationship can ever be the same anymore, I think it’s netter if this is the last time we talked I need space. I didn’t expect this to happen this soon, I just need time to get things together” . After that she switched off the phone not wanting to talk to anybody.
3weeks later……
School and life had been hard for Amanda emotionally, she kept seeing Peter everywhere and though she tried to put a strong facade she was breaking,her defense was breaking she missed him at the same time the guilt of having disappointed her parents who expected her and preached to her to keep her virginity for her husband, the guilt of failing God,herself and her parents was weighing on her young soul. Her parents still reminded them everyday of how proud they were of her and didn’t hold back in using her as an example to other youths in church and even to parents who came with their wards for counseling. Amanda has been nauseous and vomiting for some days now, at first she thought it was a stomach bug and took some drugs awaiting the relief,but it persisted. Her parents noticed and asked her if it was still the stomach bug and she replied in the affirmative. They decided to take her to the doctor just in case it was an infection. The family doctor was called and an appointment was booked, the tests were done at the clinic for stomach infections, the doctor knowing Amanda’s parents as he was a family friend was shocked by the results that came back to him , having known Amanda all her life he was beyond shocked at the lab results in his hands. He double checked the name to make sure it was hers. After some time he gulped and asked the nurse to call Amanda and her parents from the waiting room to come to his office.
The silence in the room could be cut with a knife, a pin could certainly be heard. Amanda couldn’t believe her ears,her parents looked like fishes that had just been brought out from the water. They couldn’t believe the results as they stared at their 17years old daughter. After thanking the doctor they all left to their home, with her !other in tears and her father deep in thought. Once they reached home ,Amanda couldn’t bear the silence of her parents anymore, she sobbed and cried as she tried to explain to her parents how and what happened but she couldn’t seem to get her words out as she just kept on sobbing without getting her words out. Her father walked put on her as he headed to the room without a word. She grappled her mother’s legs trying to get an emotion from her mother, the next words from her mother broke her fragile hear ” I wish you were never born, you’ve disappointed I and your father, you’ve disgraced us after all the love and care we’ve given you, you’re a disgrace to this family and to God”
Amanda expected her mother to be this angry but her mother words cut through her !like a knife. She looked shell shocked as her mother removed her hands from her legs and walked out towards the room she shared with her husband . Amanda couldn’t take this, she couldn’t bring herself to call Peter and tell him she was pregnant. She couldn’t see her parents hurt and losing the image they had worked so hard to build up. She couldn’t imagine been a teenage mother,she couldn’t imagine what all the people who looked up to her will think. She knew there was only one solution, to save herself and her parents as well as their image and reputation. As she felt herself losing consciousness as she wallowed in a bathtub filled to its brim and over pouring with water she knew she had made the right decision, she knew ending it all would be better for all concerned. As she slipped out of consciousness she prayed for forgiveness from those who she loved the most.
  
Hey guys ,this is a little story I couldn’t help but write. I believe that we all make mistakes but we all can recover and push forward from it. A mistake like this can bring forward the best little gift which is the love of a child. It isn’t the end of the world, be strong .