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Mental health series part2 – Body shaming

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Hey 👋 guys, well this is a continuation to the mental health series I started last year , this is for anyone and everyone who is tired 😪 of constantly been body shamed, constantly been looked down on cause of your body type.  We all have been at that point in our lives where things people say 🙊 actually affect us, i know we all say “oh i don’t give a damn what 😦 people say” but lowkey we know its hurting us deep inside, its eating us up within, we lowkey look into the mirror judging all our flaws some of us are scared 😱 of looking 👀 at the mirror cause we are disgusted by our reflection 😢😢😢..  Some of us are on social media after all who isn’t right 😇, i know for one when i go online am bombarded with with pictures of ladies who look so perfect 👌 makeup 💄 on fleek, eyebrows on fleek, lipstick 💄 on fleek, d figure eight shape nd all, and then i just look at myself and i feel like when they’re girls like that which guy would want someone as skinny as i am..  I am forever insecure about my relationship cause i feel there are so many ladies out there that aren’t as skinny as i am. I feel insecure to meet new people especially guys because i feel the first thing everyone seems to notice is 

Omg 😱 😱 see how skinny she’s, she looks so malnourished, she can break 💔 at any moment now, does she even eat at all, is she in a diet, look how flat that ass is, look how thin does legs are(are those are legs cause i thought they were sticks?).

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The hurtful part is when you see those judgmental eyes 👀 running up and down your body as they try taking 🙇 in your appearance and all you can do is to just stand there and watch them with a smile 😊 on your face so they don’t think your weak.  Constantly having to change ☹ your clothes 👗 cause you feel you look more lyk a “broomstick” in them or when you wear them and someone walks 🚶 up to you and tells you “this dress doesn’t fit your body” they feel its a joke 😜 but knowing deep down your self confidence is lowering at each words..  I remember my very close friend once told me to my face.

…… you are very ugly, i feel ashamed walking 🏃 with you, you are so skinny and boring.  Have you looked at your face before.

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These words are forever carved into my mind i can never forget them she thought it was all a joke 😜 but it wasn’t at all funny to me.

I know we all have our experiences you might be fat or skinny , you could be a lady 👒, a teenager 👧, a woman, a man, a boy 👦 anything and whatever and whoever you might be all i care about is us coming together to bring out the beauty in each other, to be there for each other, to love each other for who we really are and not who others feel we should be   Life is too short for negative energy and vibe.

Now in case we all feel this relates only to the ladies,then you’re damn wrong .The men aren’t exempted , we might not notice it but there’s a glorified body shape women feel men should have or rather the society feel men should have. But we’ve woven a web where the men feel like they cannot or should not talk about this,which is wrong.

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No one has a right to feel lesser than they are. And if whenever you feel like you need to change either due to health reasons or for your own sake,then by all means go for a change. Start the exercise, start that diet, start eating more,cut off the alcohol etc. But make sure that whenever you feel like changing your body type,that it’s for the right reasons and not because of the societal pressure because the pressure can only fuel your drive to a certain limit. But when you’re indeed commuted to change for tour own happiness and benefit,your determination I’ll be the fuel to your fire.

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Hope you guys enjoyed part2 of this series. This post was culled from my original post on my previous blog http://www.slimbitch.wordpress.com – for the purpose of this blog and since I clearly have stopped using my previous blog I’ll be reposting all my previous posts to this blog.❤

#bodyshaming #mental health #mentalhealthseries

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PRAY

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Lyrics from a song keeps ringing in my head it basically describes the struggles of christian life- the song “I’ll keep running to you” (sorry don’t know the name of the artist) is basically one of my favourite songs when I begin to feel like am losing the race of faith, that am undeserving of been in the presence of God because of my filthiness, that I am a sinner undeserving of forgiveness, that I keep praying yet I keep making the same mistakes I try to keep away from cause I knw they will hurt this new race I’ve began with God. But one thing I know is that the race as a Christian might be rough,it might be hard work, there might be few pitfalls from our side as humans,we might neglect the warnings of the Holy Spirit and still spew whatever filth we’ve in our thought,words or actions, we might engage in that gossip,we might allow our minds deviate to ungodly thoughts as babes in the kingdom of God but then it’s this time we’ve to begin to pray for that leading and conviction of the Holy Spirit.

I personally feel that sometimes I take God’s grace through His son Jesus as an excuse for unchristianly character because I feel I can still go back and ask God for forgiveness and he’ll forgive. But this shouldn’t be.

I feel a burden in my heart, I cry tears when I remember the insults and shame Jesus Christ went through just to cover my shame, a man who committed no sin was murdered like a sinner for a sinner like me and yet I take that grace for granted. Imagine!! is there a greater sacrilege like this?
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I am undeserving of this love u show unto me lord but no matter what,I believe in your sufficient grace to lead me through the beginning and ending of this christian race,it might seem difficult because I haven’t totally consecrated myself to you,I still fall into my old ways but lord I promise you one thing that more than any worldly enjoyment that seeing the smile on your face when at that pearly gates you say “welcome my faithful servant” for that smile on your face it’s all worth it. Cutting off that habit,that character, that person and that TV show is worth it because I know you’re pulling me through it all and you’ll lead me on. Please keep me and others who genuinely want to watch and pray since we know not when you shall come. We’ll work hard to follow you and you alone lord because been a Christian isn’t a right but a privilege through the blood shed on Calvary.

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Be magnified. Shalom.

#christianviews #wordforbabesinchrist #jesusisus #prayerlife #spiritual

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Mental health series alert

For the next few days leading up to the new year I’ll be doing a series on mental health and would like to ask any other blogger who feels strongly about this issue and would like to be a guest blogger to reach out. Mental health awareness is needed, it isn’t a sign of weakness.

Watch out for mental health the series1

#mentalhealth #depression #anxiety

#mentalhealthseries part3 ; Imperfect me, perfect him-low self-esteem in relationships and turning deaf ears to negative words

 

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Do you ever look at yourself  and look at your partner and feel deep within you that he or she can do so much better???

Do you ever look around the restaurant while you’re out on a date and think  “are they staring at me, do they think he or she can do better, look how cute that girl is looking am sure it would have been cute if he was with her or look at that fit six-packs guy am sure they would have made a perfect pair”.???

Or do you feel like you embarrass your  partner with your appearance and body shape,  do u feel self conscious around their friends or family ???

Do you detest going out with your partner, you secretly dread every outing cause you just don’t fit in to a particular body type?

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Well bae or boo get rid of that thought, you’re damn beautiful or handsome how you’re and the right person will see through the skinny body, through the extra flesh, through the baggy clothes , through the flat ass or boobs, see through the potbelly, see through the extra chin.. He or she will see right into your golden soul and into the real you cause you are rare, you’re one of a kind, you’re irreplaceable, you are beautiful, you are handsome, you’re hot, you’re classy, you’re sexy, you’re rad, you’re everything special.

   And if your partner fails to see that then drop them like a bad habit.  No one should ever make you feel like they’re “just managing you “, or like you’re “a charity case”..  No one has a right to tell you that “no one will ever love you” … They re as wrong as hell quit such toxic  people, it might hurt but baby gal rediscover urself, live for u, be u nd the right person  will show up to sweep  you of your feet..  You don’t need anybody to be happy  you only need yourself… 

Remember  “drop them like a bad habit, they’re toxic to your happiness 😌 “

Be happy, be you,  love you, rediscover you💝

 

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To some unrelated issue leading up to this whole self esteem ish;  HERE IS A STORY

So Leslie decided to go shopping, and she was  quite on the skinny side. She walked in to a mall and  started trying out clothes  that she thought would look pretty good  on her, so she brought all of em out every single  colour that caught her eye  with the help of the shop attendant, as she was busy with the clothes and all the shop attendant made a comment

………. but you’re seriously really  skinny, like this dress your trying on that seems quite loose was really tight  on some of the customers that came in😒.. Notice the “re u serious emoji “.  Well the Leslie just  shrugged it off and continued her shopping  because no lousy comment was going to be  enough to ruin the joy  she had when she left her home .

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What  am trying to bring out from this is that we are the ones that have the right to make what people say affect us nd ruin whatever happiness  you had at that moment.  I won’t lie it might be difficult most times to ignore certain comments and reactions u might have heard some of these;

….. oooh how  did she fit into that she be looking like a whale , or u might have heard,  “why did she wear that when she has no bum for such” and so many derogatory statements about your sense of fashion  whether you’re on the thicker side or you’re on the slimer side or your on whatever side no one has a right to criticize your fashion on the basis of your weight if you like it, then own it, be it, live it.  You live only once don’t let the statement of an ignorant person  or persons make you stay covered up in baggy clothes and a hoodie just to try and hide your weight … Nope  that’s unacceptable you have a right to look beautiful cause you are beautiful.  And i can’t ignore  the guys  right here look handsome cause you re handsome nd the world  deserves  to see  that.

Go and rock that clothe you got ,cause you will look beautiful in them.. If you radiate beauty nd confidence in your fashion the world  would have no choice but to bow  sooner or later to that confidence .  But if you radiate fear  and self consciousness  that you don’t deserve to wear so and so clothes  then the world  would act on it.

So ladies, girls, women, gents, teens, granny, grandpa.  Be you, create  your own fashion be your own kinda beautiful, dress to please  you and no one else.

 

God’s plan not yours

In a life full of challenges we all want attention, we all need love,we all want to be seen as beautiful or handsome,we all want to be treated as priceless by those we consider our own but the fact is that we cannot always get what we want.
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We cannot always get what we deserve but we can choose who we deserve .

Some might ask “how is that possible”? You might find yourself in a situation or in relationships or in friendships where you’re not happy or fulfilled in them but you go along with it cause you feel like you can’t get anyone better. Does that ring a bell?

You go along with been the second fiddle, with been insulted ,abused,looked down on because of your own fear. You’re so scared of losing that person or people around you that you end up overlooking God’s plan for you.

God let’s you go through certain problems, certain difficulties, certain failures and even certain relationships and friendships just to prove to you that you deserve the best. He let’s you go against His own special will so as to prove his power over you,He let’s you go ahead and date that man or that woman even though He knows it’ll cause you pain and heartache at the end because He is preparing you for His special and perfect plan.

The question is that will you avail yourself for that plan or will you keep holding on to that mistake. It might be difficult, it might be heart breaking but isn’t that temporary hurt a small price to pay for a permanent and God-influenced joy ,happiness and peace.

You might be weak but God’s strength through Jesus is manifested to take care of every weak spot. You might be lost but God’s word will serve as a light to your path and a lamp to your feet. You might be emotionally drained but God’s love will keep you. All you’ve to do is give into Him He’s God over your life ,He’s a covenant keeping God and He’ll keep his part of His covenant and help you keep yours as well. He’s Lord over all. His name is Yahweh.
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I might not understand what you put there might be going through but there’s one man who understands and is ready to serve serve a shield ,a comforter, a teacher and a guide to you in every situation of life. He will never leave you or forsake you, He isn’t a man that he’ll lie,He is a covenant keeping God. He is Yahweh. Trust in Him the going might be tough but you serve a tougher God.

#bleedwordsforchrist. #christians #shalom #worldforchrist #HeisGod

New year, new me ; oh no not again😩🚶

The below post is a guest post I wrote for ; http://bloggdin.com.ng/2019/01/01/new-year-new-me-or-whatever🚶/

Keeping to your new year resolutions

Hey guys, a happy new year to y’all🎊🎊.

It’s the first day of the year,and am sure as usual we’ve prepared and made notes of our yearly new year resolutions. You probably have written down what you think /know you should work on before the next year. Now my question for you is this; would your zeal for this resolution last till the next month?

Now personally I have never made a new year resolution, I rather have thoughts of things I should work on. Am guessing some of y’all are wondering, isn’t that a new year resolution? Well to me it’s not cause I make no commitment to achieving it. But I rather make a conscious effort to try to be the best version of myself without putting unnecessary pressure on myself .

But hey,that’s my own personal ish and it has worked for me. But, for you guys who sincerely make new year resolutions with the intention to keep them and finally cross it off your life list. I am here for you , so sit back and let’s go through this together.

I am sure most of us have always wondered why our resolutions never see the day of light. Fine we might go through with them for probably the first two months or less or more but we never seem to actually see it through to the end or even accomplish it.

Setting new year goals and actually achieving them.

  • Most of us make the mistake of setting goals without a plan . It isn’t about making the resolutions but having a plan that ll help you achieve a goal. Don’t try to achieve it all at once, break it down into smaller portions and set a small daily or weekly goal that ll bring you closer to achieving the dream goal. It all begins with small steps.
  • Me,myself and I: does that sound familiar yea that’s what we have in mind when we make our new year resolutions. Well this really isn’t so bad , but then making resolution will be more successful if we can have a group being us.

Goals like losing weight ,attending the gym and learning a new skill ll be better if we get people that share the same zeal we have this will inspire us to do more and more. Move with people who’re better and know more about you -this will push you to do better. But then avoid negative and toxic people whose intention is to bring you down and discourage you.

XXL(extra extra large) goals: You cannot keep making larger than life goals to achieve within a short time ,this will just lead to disappointment. Start from smaller goals that will lead to the big one. Don’t go straight to the biggest goal . Take it step by step and day by day. You don’t conquer a mountain form the top but you have to start from the bottom to get to the top.

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  • One of the greatest mistakes you’re most probably making is giving up too easily, once you face a series of roadblock on your path to achieving your goals you drop it all and you just give up.

Your ability to strive on in the face of obstacles and things that are purposed to bring you down, makes you and builds you ingot he person you are meant to be.

Abbey 2019

  • The two most important factors are; time and money . How we wish we can just control the time -something like the time -jerker⏰. Well wishes are not horses, so we’ve to make use of what we have. Your ability to achieve your goals depends on your ability to manage your time effectively. As well as your finances, sometimes we try to overspend to achieve our goals . For example you want to lose weight,you can do this without breaking the bank and nope you mustn’t go to the gym ,try and stick to less expensive ways to achieve your goals❤
  • Set achievable goals; most of us make goals that are not achievable by any standards. Set smaller realisable goals and achieve it, this will give confidence for you to face and achieve other bigger ones.
  • Lack of self confidence; most of us put too much pressure on ourselves, that we fail to see our own progress. We fail to congratulate ourselves for our own progress.
  • We keep comparing our progress with that of others and degrade our own achievements. This shouldn’t be, be confident and happy with whatever progress you make. Congratulate yourself and give yourself a pat on the back.

With this few tips ,I know you’re sure to have a better and more productive year❤

But if you’re like me and have no new year resolution in mind well cheers🍸🍸

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#MENTALHEALTHSERIES part1 continued. D.S.S – depression, suicide and self-harm 😩

SUICIDE 

Suicide is said to have occurred when one takes his or her own life due to their own personal reasons caused by situations or circumstances they find themselves in. Suicide most times is as a result of depression. Though depression isn’t mainly or always the main cause of suicide but it does count as a risk factor. The thought of suicide is a nagging thought ,one hears voices each of those voices attacks our self worth and our decision to remain alive. Those voices spare no negativity.

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According to https://projectsemicolon.com/what-is-suicide/;  there is no single mental illness diagnosis that is exclusively responsible for death by suicide. The majority of people who live with a mental illness do not attempt nor die by suicide.  Some estimated facts:

  • 85%-98% of people diagnosed with depression do not die by suicide.
  • 80%-97% of people diagnosed with bipolar illness do not die by suicide.
  • 85%-94% of people diagnosed with schizophrenia do not die by suicide.

Risk for death by suicide is increased if a person suffers from depression alongside schizophrenia, bipolar illness, substance abuse, anxiety disorders. Those who struggle with a diagnosed personality disorder can be up to 3x more likely to die by suicide then those without and, risk is increased if they also struggle with a substance abuse disorder.  It occurs about 3× more in males than females.

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Suicide isn’t an easy decision to make and I beg to differ with people who feel like suicide is cowardice. It takes quite a lot of courage to take such a step. No one deserves to be so broken that they feel like suicide is the only option. No family or friend deserves to have the guilt of the death of a family member encarved into their heart forever ,they don’t deserve to be put through a lifetime of built wishing they could have done something differently. You are way stronger than that ,I knwo it might not look like it right now, but think of it you’ve survived and you have kept faith and hope alive all this time then why give up now. No matter how unbearable life is,I know you might think that no one can understand the pain stabbing at your heart, the endless voices telling you to take a shortcut and just spare yourself the pain, no one might understand what is going on in your life or the pressure you’re been placed under or the things you’re forced to do beyond closed doors or the abuse and insults you’ve to endure.

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Yes you’re right I might have no idea,I might just seem like one of those people who sit on their high judgemental chairs and just judge other peoples decisions, but I am here to tell you that though I might not fully understand what you’re going through, one thing I know for sure is that there’s a lot of potential buried inside of you. The world cannot lose you,the world needs that potential inside of you that’s yet to be harnessed. Your mother needs to see  her daughter to down the aisle and hold her grandchild, she wants to share those jokes and secrets with you, she wants to watch you grow up into a beautiful young lady or a handsome young man, your father wants to walk you down that aisle, your father wants to hold your hand and watch you grow up to the person you’re meant to be and who he’ll be proud of. Your friend wants to walk with you to school,wants to eat lunch with you,wants to share gossips and play games with you, your friend wants to watch you gush about tour first crush,your love, your friend wants to we you get married and wants your kids to be best friends with theirs, your friends want to call you up and spill their problems knowing they can count on you.

Your siblings want y’all to grow old together,secure the bag together and spoil each other crazy,they want to exchange embarrassing pictures and stories about you to friends and even on your wedding day😩. Your child wants to make you proud,they want to see a smile on mummy or daddy’s face,they want to exchange stories with you and just have the feeling of knowing that you’re will always be with them. Your grandparents want to spend their their old years with their children and you their grandchild surrounding them. Your husband wants to wake up seeing that pretty face of yours, he wants you to be the mother of his kids and wants his daughter to be a replication of you,he wants to spend his entire life with you. Your wife/gf wants to wake up knowing she has a handsome man by her side who loves and cherishes her, she wants to one day have your kids and build a family with you .

So don’t take this decision with the idea that no one will care or it won’t affect anybody. Don’t take such a selfish decision because as you “relieve” yourself by this decision, you’re plunging those around you and those who sincerely love you into a lifetime of akin that they may never recover nor forgive you for.

You see the devil gives us this fake idea that by committing suicide we’re getting rid of our pain since no one seems to care anyway,and he would make you feel that by saying a word of prayer before committing suicide will spare you from the eternal damnation which your act will cause-well that is and will always be a big lie. Once one commits suicide the fact is that tour eternity will certainly be hell. Am not been Mrs judgemental pants over here but the Bible is clear and God will never go back on his words for anyone nor for any reason. He says that…”if you cannot make nor count the number of hairs on your head then what right do you have to take your life or someone else’s “. So unless you give me a man that can accurately count the number of hairs on his head then the Bible remains the same. So why would you want to suffer from whatever you’re suffering from right now and still go and suffer for eternity in hell fire . Does it make sense ?? Is that a good or wise decision??

Suicide is not about a moral weakness or a character flaw. People considering suicide feel as though their pain will never end and that suicide is the only way to stop the suffering. You deserve to be alive, you deserve the most out of life, the world deserves to have your imprint  on it as one of the greats❤.

   We as a world don’t deserve you, we NEED you. You’re a scarce commodity, you’re one in a lifetime individual. Don’t deny us of your presence because of the stupidity and inactions of a few.

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Risk factors of suicide are;

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How to reduce cases of suicide

According to https://projectsemicolon.com/what-is-suicide/ this can be done by;

  • Reducing access to the means of suicide (e.g. pesticides, medication, guns).
  • Treating people with mental disorders (particularly those with depression, alcoholism, and schizophrenia).
  • Providing follow-up to people who have made suicide attempts.
  • Responsible media reporting.
  • Training primary health care workers.
  • Mental health promotion

And if you’re beginning to have such thoughts please seek help, don’t hold back and feel like you can handle it. Rather get appropriate help from appropriate people and sources such as psychologists and physiotherapists. The world deserves to see you blossom right through this challenges and have you as a beacon of light and hope to lead someone else out of such darkness.

#suicideawareness #mentalhealthawareness feel free to hit me up if you ever feel like talking❤❤

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SELF-HARM

Self harm is the process of inflicting injuries intentionally most usually cuts on oneself to relieve tension or anxiety usually brought about by depression. It’s not always by cutting, it could also be by burning, hair pulling etc.

 

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For those involved self harm provides a sense of relief from whatever pain they’re going through,it helps them  forget the pain inflicted on them by their family,friends and society by inflicting injuries on themselves as well.

Self harm has been known to be addictive at a point, because one begins to see it as the solution to pain. At a point one even becomes numb to the pain felt while cutting across their skin because at that point it feels normal. It’s a temporary relief from certain situations such as depression, anxiety,bullying,bipolar disorder,abuse and even failure. According to statistics it’s more common in females than in males and affects people within the ages of 12-24yrs of age.

This usually leaves those affected with scars that they tend to be ashamed of. This scars become a reminder of the pain they’ve had to face. And also limits the ability to actually trust others as they tend to be self conscious of the the scars.

Some symptoms of self harm according to https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950.  If you suspect your family or friend might be involved in this , this might be some signs to look out for;

    1. Excessive rubbing of an area to create a burn
    2. Keeping sharp objects on hand
    3. Wearing long sleeves or long pants, even in hot weather
    4. Frequent reports of accidental injury
    5. Difficulties in interpersonal relationships
    6. Behavioral and emotional instability, impulsivity and unpredictability
    7. Statements of helplessness,hopelessness and worthlessness
    8. Scars often in patterns
    9. Fresh cuts or wounds

     It’s time to come out from that shell,it’s time to stop hiding behind those baggy clothes and those long sleeves,it’s time to stand up and take your life in your own hands. It’s time to channel that energy and pain into something more meaningful, you’re too beautiful or handsome to do this to yourself. There are ways to channel your pain into incentives to force you into been a better version of yourself. Those scars cannot and will not define who you’re. It might have defined your past but it sure as hell isn’t defining your present and will not define your future. Like Alexia sang “scars to your beautiful”. You’re a beauty, a master piece, those scars shouldn’t remind you to reach for another blade but rather should remind you of what you’ve gone through and you’re still standing and you’re still alive. You aren’t as weak as you’re been made to believe, you’re strong and you need to divert that strength into a passion to push past this dark times, cause baby girl/ boo there’s a bright light at the end of that tunnel that’ll totally illuminate your life forever.

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#mentalhealthseries Did you enjoy part1 of this series then let me know in the comments, if there is anything you feel I missed then feel free to write it in the comments. Love y’all❤❤